Vision of Hope
Have you ever sat in a park, watching other people with their kids, friends or family laughing and having a good time and think to yourself, “I wish I knew what that joy felt like?”
Or perhaps it was a song that made you cry each time you listened to it because you desperately wanted to feel the words as if they were your own?
Ten years ago, I was going for a run when a song on my playlist came on. It was Macy Gray’s Beauty in the World.
“Heya throw your hands up and holla
Throw your hands up and holla
When you don't know what to do
Don't know if you'll make it through
Remember God is giving you beauty in the world”
By the time she sang these words I was in tears. I didn’t believe them. Depressed for most of my life, I could never see the beauty in the world. The pain ran deep in my heart and I tortured myself by playing the song over—and over—and over, for the rest of my run. It became a habit of mine to listen to this song on my runs. Each time, crying from sadness, reveling in that place of comfort that I was familiar with.
A few years later, and after I started on my self-help journey, something changed. As Macy Gray began to sing, the tears fell, only this time they were tears of joy. For the first time in my life, I had hope. I was seeing Beauty in the World and her words had new meaning for me. I threw my hands up and started jumping up and down like I was Rocky, a true champion.
“Heya throw your hands up and holla
Throw your hands up and holla”
I sang those words, then spun around several times, while jumping and cheering myself on for my triumph!
I was still struggling through the trials of my healing journey, yet that small sliver of hope was all I needed to keep going.
I continued to play her song over—and over—and over, for the rest of my run and then I had a vision. In my vision, my family and friends surrounded me, and I was in a healthy state of mind.
For all my future runs I played Beauty in the World, waiting for the comfort of sadness to take over, unsure if it would return. Yet each time I felt only joy and it was accompanied by my vision and the hope that someday it would be my truth.
Over the years I forgot about the vision. As I was preparing my speech for the launch of my new book the Lotus Tattoo and the Everyday Being platform, I remembered the vision and realized that it had become my truth twice since that run ten years ago.
The first time was when I married my husband, Mike, in a small ceremony in our backyard. Our kids took part in the ceremony while our family and friends surrounded us. At the end of our ceremony, we played Macy Gray’s Beauty in the World while we walked down our lawn towards our home, and high-fived each other as our new family triumphed.
The second time would be realized at my upcoming book launch party. 100 of my closest friends, colleagues and family would surround me, and I was going to stand in front of them—completely exposed through the words in my book—in a healthy state of mind. I smiled from the excitement.
I thought about the long process it took for me to get healthy and the tools and resources I keep close by to help me stay afloat—and above the sadness that consumed me for so many years. Macy Gray’s song is part of my toolset. I play it loud and sing along with her to remind me of my triumph and I’m glad I stuck through it.
Healing takes time, perseverance, support and a team of resources at your disposal to get you through the difficult times. There are a lot of challenges in recovery and it’s easy to want to fall back into your comfort zone of your default behaviors: sadness, depression, anger, regret and fear. Having a vision of where you want to be can bring you hope during those tough times and remind you of your path.
Not sure what that vision might be for you?
Try this:
Take a few minutes and sit in silence in a place of contemplation where you may feel sadness–your bedroom, the park, or play that song you resonate with.
Pay close attention to your thoughts and listen to what they are telling you. What are you wishing for that’s missing for you at the moment?
Now replace the missing with how you would like to see that moment for you if you were in a healthy state of mind.
Are you lying in bed with your mind at peace without the sadness?
Are you running around playing with your kids in the park?
Are you feeling the powerful words of a song and knowing it to be true for you?
Keep that vision alive and think about it whenever you can. Play it over and over in your head.
SEE IT
SEE IT
FEEL IT
MEDITATE ON IT
Remember it each time you take a step back in your healing journey and tell yourself that one day it will become your truth. Don’t worry about how it will happen, just know that it will. Make it your Vision of Hope until one day it becomes your reality.
What is your vision of hope?
Reach out to one of our resource partners to support you through the process.