Do you still have unresolved anger from past trauma or abuse?
If you find yourself in situations where you are always feeling the need to defend yourself, getting into arguments with toxic people, or find yourself in situations where your anger creates problems in your life, you might be dealing with unresolved anger.
That was me until 10 years ago. I was angry a lot. I was a bully for most of my life due to childhood trauma and being abused. Always in survival mode, defending my stance, attacking others in response to situations that made me feel powerless.
That anger created more problems than solutions in my life. It got me beat up in a road rage incident, arrested for attacking my ex-husband after our divorce, and having my kids taken from me until I could get the charges dropped. That anger led me to bully my own kids with screaming fits of cursing at them when they were younger.
Once I was able to resolve my unhealed anger from childhood abuse, I no longer responded with a Defend and Attack mentally.
Today I still get angry, but I approach my anger in a healthy way. I am able to take a step back, evaluate the situation, and come up with a plan for how I should move forward. This approach allows me to respond in a calm manner.
Our trauma impacts us in many ways, and sometimes we may not realize it’s impact until we’ve taken a look back at our reactions to events of the past. If your response to anger is one of Defend and Attack, you may be dealing with unresolved anger.
Anger is a natural instinct – you will always come across situations that create anger in your life. But you can change how you respond to anger.
If you have unresolved anger, a counselor or therapist can help you work through it. Don’t be afraid to reach out. Many of us have been there.
And remember, Together, we are not alone.